Allistic (and neurotypical) privilege is feeling like you don’t have to bother to check if something someone said could have offended your autistic friend. Is not bothering to change the conversation’s subject when more allistic people keep talking about autism.
Allistic (and neurotypical) privilege is feeling entitled to your close friends defending and/or caring about you when something offends you.
Neurotypical privilege is being able to feel safe that your neurotype is not going to be talked about disrespecfully in any social situation you choose to be in.
These things happened to me a few days ago. I was at a home party with two close friends, parents of one of them, and some of their other close friends. My friends know I’m autistic but the others don’t, as I’m closeted to most people.
Then, I don’t know how the topic even started, but I overhear one of the parents (who is a doctor themself) saying “autism is psychotic”, as if that were the main feature of being autistic. The other people follow the conversation speaking about “a precious movie” about autism they saw, which, as I checked later, is one about an allistic relative speaking about (and over) their autistic sibling.
I remained there, uncomfortable, frozen, silent, and internally raging that they are speaking about autism like that, either as an “illness” that disconnects autistics from reality or as an othered cutesy to make them feel tolerant and understanding. I couldn’t say anything without outing myself.
My friends that know, they didn’t even make an attempt to change the subject in that moment, nor have checked after if I was feeling ok or if that was offensive to me. Not a word, and days have passed since.
Now I feel betrayed, disrespected and treated as if my feelings about autism don’t matter at all. I regret having told those two people.
I don’t want to tell I’m autistic to any allistic person anymore, and now I know I can’t feel safe ever in any social situation with neurotypicals, not even with people that call themselves my friends.
I wanted to live trusting my friends, being open and nice with them, but things like this are turning me into a cynic, bitter person, and I hate it.
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- ladyofrainbows said: :”“| can I offer you encouragement or something?
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- turbulentbeauty said: Last night I was arguing with a Social / Special Ed type college major I know through friends. She kept insisting things and going over hypotheticals based on the DSM 5 for ASD…. they don’t even have the proposal posted! It won’t be out til Jun/Jul
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